Well, not my REAL hero. I don’t think I have a REAL hero. Not anymore anyway. I don’t have a lot of things I used to have. Now I forget the whole reason I came on here tonight. I’m watching Boogie Nights and learning a very valuable thing: Mark Wahlberg is actually kind of hot. Not in Four Brothers, which is the first Mark Wahlberg movie I ever saw. No I never saw Fear, or Planet of The Apes…actually I did watch about half an hour of Rock Star, but you can’t really count that can you? I’m actually looking at his filmography right now and readinga mini bio about him. I can’t believe his older brother Donnie was in NKOTB (New Kids on the block, for those of you who live further under the rock than I did) and that Mark Wahlberg was actually a really bad seed. Why am I inspired to look Marky Mark up? Because he’s on inside the actor’s studio tomorrow and I’ll probably miss it. YEAH I’M A LOSER. This is why guys don’t want to date me. I have too much of a close relationship with the tv and pens/notebooks. Luckily I found Brandon, who I have only been seeing for about two weeks. He’s a skater boy but he doesn’t seem to mind that I’m a nerd. Only Hayley/Rolinda knows the truth about Brandon. So Marky Mark dedicated a book to his penis…I see why he stopped recording albums.
This university thing is proving to be very tiring, repetitive and well, lame. I haven’t met any fun people and the people I have met, only want to talk about boring things and use words that I don’t even want to use in my writing. In short, they suck. Where are all the fun people in Montreal? Where are the people who are like the friends I used to have back home? Why can’t I meet people like that? Why do all the people I meet want to talk about foriegn films and how much they hate CSI, which is something I can’t accept in a friend I have. It’s one thing to dislike the show, but to talk abut it with such hatred and judge people who watch it as simple minded and easily amused, doesn’t give you much credit in my books. Liking CSI does not make you stupid. And liking "Hollywood" films doesn’t make me shallow. I’m sorry that I’m not fifty and find interest in films where you spend three hours watching the sun set while someone tells a story! I’ve been thinking a lot about just dropping out of school and travelling. Yeah I have to save up money because I’m so poor that I can’t even "git er done" as Rolinda would say, but it seems so much more valid then sitting in a small crowded room with people who think that they’ve got all the knowledge in the world when it comes to writing. I’m not going to sit and let people tell me that I can’t write. I can fucking write, OK? I’m a good writer and I’m not going to change a sentence in paragraph because you tell me that it’s too much of a plot twist, or it’s too dumbed down. MAYBE THAT’S WHAT MY TARGET AUDIENCE WANTS! I’m not writing my novel for a bunch of stuffy French writer wannabes who spent three years in grammar school and correct my dialogue. SOME PEOPLE ACTUALLY TALK THAT WAY YA KNOW!! It’s just getting to me. Maybe I’ll pop in on Mr. Robillard, who set me up in Montreal and Concordia and see what he has to say. I said in the beginning of this entry that I had no real hero but I think Robi is the closest thing I’ll get to a hero. He’s awesome and he knows what the fuck he’s talking about. He tells me what he thinks without sounding like a dick and I value his opinion. He’ll find a good thing in my writing as well as a bad thing, as opposed to this one girl in my writer’s group who just couldn’t stop saying bad things about it. Bitch. I HATE UNIVERSITY ALREADY!! I quit. I’m going to Europe. Anyone have any objections? I didn’t think so. There’s no one here to argue with me. Not anymore anyway.