Go download that song right now! It’s by Nightwish. It’s good shit, if you’re into that kind of goth rock stuff. I was just reminded of Nightwish because I got the March issue of Revolver and it’s all about "The Hottest Chicks in Metal." I wouldn’t really classify Nightwish as metal, but the girl from Lacuna Coil reminds me of the singer from Nightwish. But I didn’t come here to talk about The Hottest Chicks in Metal. Or Nightwish. Or donuts. No, I came to talk about all the ridiculous stories I have written and collected over the years.
It all started with me going through all the binders I have so I can file away my stories- when I get a filing cabinet- so they’re not all in binders. Friggen binders take up too much space. ANYWAY, as I’m going through, I realized that the stories I used to write were mainly fanfiction. I have since grown up and focused on things more important than regular joes hooking up with the likes of Jeff Hardy and David Desrosiers. And the Backstreet Boys. Now I write about serial killers and homosexuality and genocide. I wonder if I’m a little too dark at times. Oh well. But even through all my darkness, there is always an underlying love story, even if it is miniscule. So I need to stop writing about love. Hopefully my serial killer story will cure me of that. As I look down at the giant bin full of binders, I am suddenly aware that I need a bigger filing cabinet. Damn. Maybe I will only need a two drawer filing cabinet. Hey Jesse, get ready to draw flames on my filing cabinet!
Alright, one last order of business: I’m getting a tattoo inspired by Fight Club, and I need some help deciding which one I should get. And if you haven’t seen the movie, you sort of can’t help all that much. You can try, but I doubt you would understand it. See, Edward Norton gives these lines at various scenes in the movie. Lines like "I am Jack’s wasted life" or "I am Jack’s raging bile duct." I want a tattoo like that, only with Jill in place of Jack, because I’m not a man. So what I have as an idea is: "I am Jill’s unused talent" in place of wasted life. Why? Because I’m only 19 so I can’t jump to the conclusion that my life is wasted. But I sure as hell can say that my talent has thus far been unused. I want to come up with a few more, so if anyone has ideas, let me know. I could really use them.
ps. Jenna, we so should exchange marshmallow hearts. Before we watch Saw 2.
ps. my sister is obsessed with skin tags
ps. Jesse would weight a million pounds if he worked in a donut shop